


reflections in cracked glass

by Marianne_Dashwood



Series: what love seeks [2]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: (initially), Awkward Conversations, Communication, F/F, Gen, Gratutious Shakespere References, Jon and Georgie communicate like actual humans, Unhealthy Relationships, jonathan sims please get therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:07:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21672679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marianne_Dashwood/pseuds/Marianne_Dashwood
Summary: Conversations between Georgie and Jon, on love, anger and forgiveness (and one conversation between lovers on the same)
Relationships: Georgie Barker & Jonathan Sims, Georgie Barker/Melanie King, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims, including hints of - Relationship
Series: what love seeks [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1537819
Comments: 19
Kudos: 155





	reflections in cracked glass

**Author's Note:**

> so, a big big thank you for the Magnus Writers discord on this one, for literally reading through several full length drafts of this, giving me wonderful and extremely helpful advice each time until it was finally readable and coherent and actually did justice to Georgie whomst I love a lot but couldn't seem to get quite right. Here's hoping I did! (and yes I know some of the dialouge formatting is weird but I really, really didn't want to go through it all again, so. Maybe in the future I'll go through and change it all properly. I've never written something so dialouge heavy before)
> 
> Yes it skips straight to the teasing at the end but thats because I'm weak for Jon and Georgie's friendship
> 
> If you have any comments please leave them below, and come say hi on all the relevent platforms (marianne-dash-wood on tumblr, and @MJDashwood on twitter!!)

On the train to Scotland, Jon finally gathers his courage and does something he should have done hours ago; he texts Georgie something he hasn’t said to her for a long time, not since he used to greet her with a kiss on the cheek and a warm hand in hers. He follows that up a moment later with  _ I’m sorry.  _ And  _ Can we talk? _

A moment later, as Jon is watching Martin doze opposite him as fields of England go by out of his window, his phone rings. He gives Martin a quick glance, before slipping out of the seat and heading towards the door to the carriage. Once out of earshot of any one else in the train, he answers. 

“Is it possible disdain should die,” Georgie’s familiar voice, dry and almost wary comes through the speaker, as clear as it ever did when they first stepped into rehearsals together, on their first date to the theatre, softly on the sofa as he held her. “While she hath such meet food to feed it as  _ Jonathan Sims _ .”

“I didn’t think you’d call so quickly.” Jon admits. “I wanted to give you time.”

“You underestimate my love of playing the role of our dear Beatrice.” Georgie says. “But this better be good, Jon, Melanie and I are going out soon.”

“I’m sorry.” Jon says, quickly, panicking; he doesn’t need another reason for Georgie to be mad at him. “That’s, that’s what I wanted to say. You were right, you were always right, and I’m so sorry.”

“Whoa, hey, slow down.” Georgie says. There is steel in her voice, a hint of something cold and metal, a tone he has only heard from her once before. “If you’re going to apologise, it needs to be more specific than that. Sorry about what exactly, Jon?”

“Wha- Everything! Why?”

“So I know whether I’m going to forgive you or not.”

“Right. Okay. Well, I… I shouldn’t have tried to involve Melanie.”

“Good start.” Georgie says, voice colder than the frost on the train windows. “Continue.”

"I shouldn't have continued to bring… my work to your home. Especially when you asked me not to. I betrayed your trust, and I put you in danger."

"Mhm. You apologised then, too. You've never been good at boundaries, how do I know this time is different?"

"For all I know, it won't be." Jon admits. "I didn't… Georgie, I didn't want to talk because I want to be forgiven. You have the right to tell me to piss off, if you want, and never speak to me again, and… You'd be justified in that. And I won't try and chase you, or involve either you or Melanie again. I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. That I was an arse, and you were right."

"You hurt me, Jon." Georgie says. "And you can't blame that on Archive bollocks."

"No, I can't. And I won't." Jon says. "It's an… explanation, but it's not an excuse. I'm still… I'm still human enough to know the difference between right and wrong, and I know that what I did was wrong."

"Alright." Georgie says. Her tone is still bone dry, no hit of the teasing and joking that so often punctuated their conversations at uni. "That's pretty good so far. What else?"

"I took your statement." Jon says, quietly. "I'm sorry."

"That, at least, was freely given. Did you know what would happen?"

"I… had my suspicions, but… No. I didn't know that I'd… start showing up in your dreams. That that you'd be in mine."

"Very well. Can you stop it?"

"I don't think so."

"Would you?"

Jon frowns, knowing the answer but not wanting to speak it into reality. "What do you mean?"

"If you could stop all of this." Georgie says. "Everything that's happened. Would you?"

"... I don't know if I can."

"That's not what I asked, Jon." Georgie is stern, unforgiving. She won't let him off this easily. Not after what he’s done.

"Georgie, I… I don't know if I could. With, with Melanie, she wasn't as deep in this as I am. I don't know if I would survive doing what she did." He laughs, hollowly. "I don't know if it would let me even try."

"You're still not answering the question, Jon."

"No." Jon says, at a volume that's less than a whisper. "I wouldn’t. But… Georgie, I want to, I do, but, if it wasn't me… it would be Basira, or  _ Martin _ , or some other naive idiot. Better someone who is… who is already neck deep, than someone who is innocent in all of this."

"Stupid." Georgie sighs. "But I think I understand."

"You do?" 

"This doesn’t mean I forgive you.” Georgie warns. “I can't stop you doing stupid things, and I won’t, either. I’m not putting myself into that situation. That’s the point of all of this; I don’t want me or Melanie anywhere near this. Especially Melanie. If I understand you, do you understand that?”

“I do. I understand, Georgie.” Jon says. 

“I still think it's wrong, even if I wish it wasn't you shouldering this… At least I know you're not going to go, I don't know, mad with power or anything. You've always been a self-absorbed asshole, but I don't think that transfers to a megalomaniac."

"Glad to have you on my side, Georgie." Jon says, and tries to believe it. "I am, trying, you know. To stay…  _ human. _ The more… strange, I get, the more I'm trying."

"That's something." Georgie says. "I don't know if it's enough, but it’s something. Are you going to keep jumping on your own grenades?"

"I've stopped throwing them. I think." Jon amends. 

"That'll have to do for now." Georgie stops, softens a little. "I'm sorry I shouted at you. But, you understand why I was angry, don't you?"

Jon nods, forgetting briefly that she can't see him, and then responds verbally. "I tried to get Melanie and you involved again."

"It was more than that." Georgie sighs. "Melanie hurt herself trying to escape that evil place, and then you come, trying to drag her back into it-"

"That's not what I intended-"

"But it's what you  _ did _ , Jon."

He sighs. "You're right, as always. When you told me about anchors, I didn’t listen. Well, I did, but, I got it wrong. I treated people like anchors, just anchors and that's all. Like Elias." He allows the disgust in his voice to show. "He's always treated people like props. I don't want to be like that. I don’t need anchors. I need friends." He runs a hand over his face. "Did Melanie mean it? When she said I was welcome, as a friend?"

"Yes." Georgie replies. "And you are, but we have to know that you’ll respect our boundaries, Jon." 

"I will." He says, sincere. "I can promise that, at least. I… I can't leave the Institute. But I won't involve you or Melanie anymore. I respect that. But… if I could be your… friend." Jon stops, takes a breath. God, words are hard. "If you want me."

"Surprisingly, Jon, when you aren't being a creepy bastard, people actually want to be around you." Georgie says, and the tension breaks slightly. Maybe she hasn't forgiven him yet, but she sounds like she's on the path, which is more than Jon ever would have thought.

"That's news to me." Jon replies dryly.

“Speaking of news, you’re on it.” Georgie says, the tension in her voice back again, slightly. 

“I’m not accused of murder again, am I?” Jon says, and gets a very strange look from the conductor passing through the carriage.

“Should you be?” She asks. “No, I meant the Institute, actually. Just that there has been an ‘incident’” She pauses. “You’re safe, aren’t you, Jon?”

“As much as I can be. Heading up to Scotland. Basira thought it would be safer if we stayed in one of Daisy’s old places.” Jon says quietly. 

“We?” 

“Me- Martin and I. He’s… he’s had a tough time.” That was an understatement, but he didn’t think Georgie would want to hear the story now. “Someone - I should look after him. After everything that’s happened, it’s the least I can do.”

Georgie hums, thoughtful. Jon is the one to break the silence.

“Are you and Melanie safe? I know Basira was going around to check on you…”

“Yeah, she popped in earlier today, as inscrutable as ever. But she was okay. I think Melanie was glad to see her. We even managed to have a chat about something that wasn’t 'Institute business’”

“That’s… something.” Jon finishes, rather lamely.

“Yeah.” Georgie agrees. “It’s something.”

There is another pause, and then they both speak at the same time. 

“Jon, I really should -”

“Listen, Georgie, I should go-”

An awkward pause. Georgie speaks first this time. 

“I’ll call you, Jon, okay? When I’m ready to talk about this more.”

“Of course, Georgie.” Jon says, quickly. “Stay safe.”

“... You too, Jon.” 

* * *

The sheets rustle in the dark room. A figure sits up in bed and there is a soft meow of a disturbed Admiral. 

“Can’t sleep?” 

The sitting figure hums, rubs her eyes. “I’m still thinking about the phone call.”

“Georgie…”

“I know, I know, I shouldn’t let him get to me.”

“You care too much.”

“It’s a deliberate decision. If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t feel anything at all.”

“Don’t talk like that, sweetheart…”

“Then what am I supposed to talk about?"

“What’s on your mind?”

“I don’t know, Mels. Him. All of this.”

“You didn’t have to phone him”

“I know.”

“But you did.”

“I know.”

“Do you forgive him?”

“No.” She says it firmly. “He tried to… he was going to pull you back into it, Melanie. That was wrong. Worse, it was cruel.”

“Yes, it was. But he didn’t, in the end.”

“Only because I stopped him.”

“No, because we  _ talked  _ to him. I told him what we needed from him to be welcome here. And he left,and accepted that. And from what you told me of the call, he has taken that to heart. He’s learned, Georgie.”

“You don’t know him like I did. He never learns for long.”

“I think this time it’ll stick.”  
  
“How can you be so sure?”

“This time,” Melanie says, measured. “This time he has something to lose.”

“That’s selfish of him.”

“Everyone is selfish. Are we selfish for refusing to help him to protect ourselves?”

“That’s different-”  
  
“It’s not, and you know it’s not. He didn’t have to get himself stabbed helping me, but he did. He didn’t have to save Daisy, but he did. He didn’t have to try and stay human, but he  _ is. _ Even if, and I agree with you here, he could be doing a lot more.”

“I don’t want to be his therapist.”

“No. Neither do I. And we don’t have to be. But we are his friends.”

“Are we?”

“Only if you want to be. He listens to you, Georgie, but you don’t have to set yourself on fire for him. I don’t want you to do that.”

“But you want me to… give him another chance.”

“I owe him one. Consider this my one. I won’t force you, sweetheart. If you don’t want to phone him back, you don’t have to. But, I think he’s capable of change, if he has the right people around him, setting proper boundaries, showing him that he has a life outside of the Institute and fears and nightmares.”

“And, what, you think I’m the right person?”

“You know him better than anyone. It’s your call. I’ll support you, no matter what.”

A pause in the warm, cosy room. It’s covered in signs of life, of a home. It’s theirs, and no one else's. 

“He heard our boundaries, when I explained them to him in more detail to him.” Georgie says, quietly. “He promised. He doesn’t make promises lightly. Never has. And he sounded sincere. I just…. I don’t know if I can trust him.”

“You don’t have to trust him.” Melanie says. “I don’t know if I do. You don’t even have to forgive him, ever, if you don’t want to.”

“I think… I think I want to. At some point. But he has to earn it. I won’t let him get away with this anymore.”

“Then tell him that. He needs to know that he has to improve, if he wants friends. And improve with someone professional. Not just us, if we get involved.”

“He doesn’t need us. Not in the way he thinks he does. He… he said he was using people as things.”

“And now?”

“... He does need us. But as friends. Not as scaffolding to a tall building so he can throw himself off and take us down with him.”

“If that is what he decides to do,” Melanie says, softly. “You know it won’t be your fault, don’t you?”

Silence, except for the sound of quiet breathing and the Admiral’s purrs. 

“I love you, Melanie.”

“I love you too, sweetheart. Are you going to sleep now?”

“Mm.”

Another rustle of sheets and a muffled, “Oh, hey Admiral.”

“I’ll call him,” Georgie says, barely a breath above a whisper. “And see how it goes from there. I’m not forgiving him. Not yet.”

“Alright. Do you want me there?”

“Please.”

“Of course, sweetheart.” 

* * *

They are browsing a bookshop with green paint and a ginger cat when Jon hears his phone buzz. He smiles apologetically at Martin, and steps outside. 

_ My dear Lady Disdain… _ Jon thinks, a reminisce, and he presses the answer button. 

“Hey, Georgie.” Jon says instead, and can’t help his smile. She  _ called  _ him. Even if he doesn’t deserve it, he’s determined to prove to her that he can, he  _ will,  _ do better. __

“Jon.” Georgie says, and Jon hopes it isn't his imagination that her voice is lighter than it was when he spoke to her. “Scotland must be treating you well. I haven’t heard you sound so happy in years.” 

“I’ve barely even spoken!” Jon protests, but even he can hear the weight that’s been lifted from his words since he left the Institute.

“You forget, I know you, Jon.” She sighs. “This isn’t to say that I forgive you. But I talked to Melanie, and well. I called you, didn’t I?”

“You did.” Jon says. “ _Thank_ _you_.”

“Don’t thank me yet, Jon. I’ve got questions for you.”

“Okay…?” Jon is a little apprehensive; it’s strange that he should be more afraid of Georgie’s questions than anything that might come for him in the dark of the night. 

“Is Martin with you right now?” She asks, which throws him for a complete loop. He checks, and yup, Martin is happily petting the ginger cat who is clearly hoping for treats. 

“He can’t hear us, if that’s what you mean.”

“Good,” Georgie says. “Are you treating him well, Jon?”

“What?” Jon asks, bemused. “Of course I am!”

“Alright, sorry, no need to get your knickers in a twist.” Georgie says, placatingly. “You do have a bit of a reputation, Jon. Particularly when it comes to Martin.”

“It’s not… I’m not like that anymore, not to him. I was an arse, I know, but… it’s  _ Martin _ .” He says, for lack of any other explanation. “I need to be enough for him. He needs… god, he needs someone that’s not me, but I’m all that’s here, and I have to be better than I was for him. I almost lost him, Georgie. I failed him, and I can’t  _ lose  _ him _.” _

It’s so hopelessly inadequate to describe the way that he feels about Martin, these small words in his mouth, but that’s all that he has.

Georgie sighs in something like relief. “Alright. I have more questions about  _ that,  _ but I’ve got more important ones right now. You know why I said what I said back in my flat, don’t you Jon? Because I know a sinking ship when I see one. Especially, a sinking ship where the captain is drilling holes in the hull to drain the water. A rescue is pointless if the ships anchor drags down the rescuer with it.”

“I know.” Jon says. He does. That’s the worst part.

“Are you drilling holes, Jon? Or are you patching up the holes, and asking for more planks of wood?”

“But before, when I came to the flat-”

“I meant help with  _ you _ , not help getting yourself and us killed.” Georgie clarifies. “You have to share the load, Jon. You won’t just rely on Martin, or just on me, or god, only on Basira or Daisy. We’ll help you, as your friends, if only you’d ask.”

“I don’t know if Basira considers me a  _ friend. _ ”

“She sent you to Scotland to keep you safe. At the very least, she cares about you.” Georgie says. “You still haven’t answered me, Jon.”

“I don’t know, Georgie.” Jon says, truthfully. “But I’m willing to learn some carpentry. Or boat building. This metaphor isn’t the clearest.”

“Shut up.” Georgie says, grumpily, in a way that makes Jon’s chest ache with fondness. “You still get my point, don’t you?”

“I do. And I… I want to try. I’m going to try.”  _ Before it isn’t too late.  _ He thinks, and instead says, “When did you get so wise, Georgie?” 

“When I got therapy.” Georgie replies, bluntly. “Which you should get, by the way.”

“How am I ever supposed to explain all of this to a therapist?” Jon asks.

“Melanie managed it. Something something extended metaphors?”

“I think my experiences go a little bit beyond metaphors.”

“So do Melanie’s. She’s doing well, since you didn’t ask.”

Jon goes cold. “I didn’t mean-”

“I’m teasing, you idiot.” Georgie says. “But I am serious about the therapy thing. There has to be counsellors in Scotland, right?”

“Yes, but Georgie -”

“Don’t you ‘But Georgie’ me. You’re with Martin, and that’s great, but you can’t rely solely on each other forever. It’s not healthy. You’ll both unravel in the end and just hurt each other if you don’t sort these issues out.” Her voice softens. “Like you and me, Jon. And the only reason it hasn’t happened to me and Melanie is because  _ we got therapy _ .”

Jon swallows. “I-I understand. And I want… I want to be better than I am.” He glances at the bookshop. Martin’s face is scrunched up in laughter as the cat chases its own tail, and Jon’s heart aches.. “I want to be good enough to deserve him.”

“Love isn’t about deserving, Jon.” Georgie says. “It’s about choosing. I chose Melanie. And I’d choose you, if I knew for certain you weren't going to get me and my girlfriend killed with you.”

“I know, Georgie.” Jon says. "I can promise I won't involve you and Melanie again, but... I wish I could promise you that I’ll be safe.”

“I wish you could too.” Georgie says. “But you and I both know that will never happen. But, you know what you can promise me? That you won’t continue on like this. That you’ll get help, Jon. And you know I say this with love, but that’s professional help. An actual qualified therapist. Because we can’t, and I  _ won’t _ , be your therapist, Jon.”

“I know, Georgie. And I… I want to try. I know it won’t be easy, and I’m not expecting it to be. But… I’m going to try. I’m already trying. I made breakfast this morning.” He says, knowing that doesn’t sound like much, but Martin had eaten like he hadn’t eaten in months, and that meant more than he could ever say.

“Breakfast is a good start. But you’ve gotta keep it up, alright?” Georgie says, and he knows she means more than just breakfast. 

“Yes, ma’am.” Jon replies. “Thank you, Georgie.”

“You’re entirely welcome. Just don’t expect me to solve all of your problems, okay? My powers only extend so far.”

“You’ve already done more than enough. You heard me out. You didn’t have to do that.”

Georgie hums. “I think I did. I don’t know if I forgive you yet-”

“Entirely reasonable.” Jon mutters.

“ - But, I wanted to hear you out. I want you to get better, Jon. I’m not sat here championing for your failure. I want to forgive you, once you’ve proved that you deserve my trust again.” The next words are spoken slightly quieter. “You were my best friend, Jon. I’d like my best friend back, one of these days.” 

“Me too.” Jon says, soft. “I miss you, Georgie.”

“Then  _ get better. _ ” Georgie says. “You have a second chance. Take it.”

“I think I’m well into my fifth or sixth chance at this point.” Jon says, ruefully.

“You know that change, real change, doesn’t happen that easily. Give it time, Jon.”

“I…” He stops, thinks. “You know what? I think, for once, I actually have time.”

“Then  _ use  _ it.” Georgie says. 

“I am.” Jon says. “For the first time in years, I don't feel like I have to go back to the Institute. Like I could stay here forever.”

“You could. I do want you to be happy, Jon. You deserve happiness, even if you don’t have my forgiveness.”

“Georgie.” Jon says quietly, overwhelmed suddenly with gratitude and hope, and a thread of determination to do better that he thought had been burned out of him a long time ago, and the verse slips from his lips. “ _ I do love nothing in the world so well as you. Is not that strange?” _

“ _ As strange as the thing I know not _ .” Georgie recites. “I think it’s time we put away the Shakespere metaphors, Jon. We both know that line isn’t quite true any more.”

Jon huffs. “Still somewhat true. Even if it doesn’t mean the same as it did when I first said it to you. It still.. You mean a lot to me, Georgie.”

“I know.” Georgie says, and he hears the smile in her voice. “And, god help me, you still mean a lot to me too.”

It’s a different kind of warmth that spreads through him then, than the first time she told him she loved him. No less warm, but different. Dependable. Reliable, just like Georgie herself. 

“Thanks, Georgie.” Jon laughs, feeling lighter than he has in a long time. In the bookstore, Martin is paying for the mountain of books in his arms.

“Look, Georgie, I have to go. And I don’t want to keep you from Melanie longer than I already have. Should I expect your call?” 

“Wait and see.” Georgie says, and he can hear the smile in her voice. 

“Oh, and Georgie?”  
  
“Hm?”

“I didn’t say before, but… I’m glad you and Melanie found each other. I really am. Are you happy?”

Georgie sighs, contentment easing through the phone. “Happier than I’ve ever been.”

It doesn’t sting like Jon expected. That can only be a good thing. 

“That’s… That’s amazing, Georgie.” He doesn’t have to try and sound genuinely happy for them, because he is. Georgie deserves happy. She deserves wonderful. “I really am happy for you.”

“Thank you.” Georgie says, and then, “I’ll talk to you soon, Jon.”

“Yeah.” Jon replies, as Martin exits the bookshop, smiling at him. “Speak soon.”

* * *

“I sent you her number.” Georgie says, voice only cracking slightly though the speakers. “Did you get it?”

Jon, who is currently windswept on top of the only hill with signal, would kill for a ritual to bring forth the power in charge of mobile phone networks, and replies; “Yeah, I got it, Georgie.”  
  
“And have you phoned her?”

“As you might be able to tell, it’s a little difficult to phone anyone at the moment!”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that?” Georgie says, surely with a grin on her face, because she knows how bad the signal is around the safehouse is, and doesn’t care about the lengths Jon has to go to to speak with her. 

The last few days have been… interesting. Not even in regards to the strange normality of domestic life that Jon and Martin have slipped into easy as breathing, or the fact that nothing has tried to kill them yet. 

No, it’s been interesting, because Jon and Georgie have been  _ talking _ . 

Sure, stilted and slightly awkward conversation at first. But it was conversation, interrupted as it was by bad phone signal. 

The topic they finally settled on was animals. Jon got a few pictures of the Admiral every day, accompanied by a small message about what Georgie was doing that day, how Melanie was, what story she was researching for her next episode. In return, Jon sent back pictures of the cows, the landscape, and detailed every twist and turn of the crappy mystery novels he was speeding through before he even got to the end. 

It was good. It was normal. It was something Jon didn’t even know he was missing. 

He was trying, too. In all the ways he promised Georgie and more. He was a terrible cook, but Martin didn’t seem to mind when he cooked. He encouraged Martin to talk, and pulled him back from the fog whenever it started to cloud his eyes. He actually say Martin down and apologised, in a way that he doesn’t think he ever had before, about how he had treated Martin before. He even messaged Melanie a few times; image descriptions of the landscapes and any Georgie-at-university stories that he could remember in quiet moments. She responded only some of the time, which was entirely fair. Mostly to tell him about how Georgie was reacting to Melanie bringing up her university life in casual conversation. Then again, Georgie hadn’t asked him to stop, not seriously, so, he was going to keep up his retellings.

It wasn’t perfect, but normal was imperfect. And right now, Jon wanted more than anything to be normal. 

“I said, I can’t really phone anyone at the moment! But-!” He jumps in before Georgie can. “I did send a therapist who lives in the next village over an email. She’s agreed to see both of us in a couple of weeks.”

“Jon!” Georgie says, and at first Jon thinks, irrationally, that she’s angry at him. “That’s excellent!”

“She’s, the only one that will see both of us. At once, I mean. Martin’s okay with talking about what happened to me, but, he doesn’t know how he’ll do with a stranger. And he’s had bad therapists before, so.” He shrugs. “He wants me there, and I want to go to, so.”

“I’m proud of you, Jon.” Georgie says. “That’s a big step for you.”

“Okay, okay, no need to treat me like a teenager.” Jon says, grumpily.

“Well, maybe if you stopped acting like one, maybe I wouldn’t have to treat you like one!” Georgie says, and her tone betrays that she’s only half teasing. 

“I got myself this appointment, didn’t I?”

“You did. And, Jon, as someone who has had to watch all this shit go down, believe me when I say that’s a really big step.”

“...I should have done it years ago.” Jon says. 

“You did it now. That’s what counts.”

“I still don’t know how we’re going to explain this to her.” 

“Just make something up!” Melanie’s voice echoes through the tinny speaker, and it sounds like she’s further away than Georgie is. “That’s what I did!”

Georgie makes shushing noises, and says, “I’m sorry Jon. Melanie clearly doesn’t have other things to do, like feeding the Admiral.”

“I can feed the Admiral and listen!” Melanie says, but her voice fades away slightly at the end. 

“I am glad you did it, Jon. I was worried.” Georgie says, quietly. “So was Melanie, even if she wouldn’t admit it. We thought maybe you wouldn’t.”

“It was a near thing.” Jon admits. “He’s still not great with other people right now. But he’s getting better every day.”

“And you’re both getting better?”

“I’m with Martin.” He says, an inadequate amount of words to convey what exactly that means. “So, yeah. I’d say so.”

“Ooooh…” Georgie says, a teasing note creeping into her voice. “Finally faced up to it properly, have you?”

“What?!” Jon’s voice jumps up several octaves, and he nearly falls flat on his face as his foot catches on a patch of grass. 

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Georgie says, a grin in her voice. 

“No,  _ no _ , we’re not - I mean, he doesn’t, and I don’t want to force -  _ What do you mean, finally _ ?” He says, and only just manages to catch the compulsion before it slips from his mouth. He doesn't know if it carries through phone lines. He also doesn’t think Georgie would be happy to be the test subject.

“What do you mean, he doesn’t?” Georgie asks. “That man has carried a torch for you for years, Jon; Melanie told me as much. And considering how often you talked about him to me, I’d swear that you love him too.”

"Please stop." Jon groans. He thought he was ready for this. He most definitely isn't. 

"Nope, this is your punishment for being an arse." He hears the grin in her voice. At least she's smiling.

“I know I deserve it, but this is  _ serious _ , Georgie, it’s not as simple as that. He doesn’t.” Jon’s face scrunches up, like he is sucking a particularly sour lemon. “He doesn’t love me. He told me as much.”

“Yes, he does.” Georgie says, simply. 

“Why?”

“Jon, I dated you for over three years and I still don’t have an answer.”

“Oh, ha ha, Georgie. How do  _ you  _ even know he does?”

“I spoke to him  _ once,  _ and it was obvious then.” Georgie replies. “And, Melanie. Martin is nothing if not incredibly unsubtle in his affections.”

“Maybe once he did, but.” Jon gets quiet. “He doesn’t now. He told me… in the Forsaken, he told me he loved me. Past tense,  _ loved _ . And now I… And I’m too late, Georgie, what am I going to  _ do _ ?!”

“One.” Georgie says, in a voice that has made many a telemarketer cower. “Any declarations made under the influence of a place known as the Forsaken are not to be taken seriously. Two, you’re going to talk to him, like the adults you are, and you are going to find out for yourself that he loves you back.”

Jon groans. 

“Oh, and three.” Georgie continues. “You’re an idiot.”

“I know.” Jon says, kneading his forehead with the palm of his hand. “I just… didn’t realise until yesterday that I. Had feelings for him. And I still don’t know  _ why  _ he did, I was such a prick to him-”

“You’re a prick to everyone.”

“Thank you for your marvelous insight, Miss Barker.” Jon says dryly. “I’m serious, Georgie. I was such an arse, and he never… He never pushed for anything, never tried to… force anything, he was good and kind even when I was  _ awful  _ to him. He made me tea.” Jon finishes, rather lamely in his opinion, but what else can he say? That Martin dedicated a majority of his working time to making sure Jon was well and hydrated? That Martin made sure that he was alright, even at his own detriment?

"And what did you do about it?"

"I was awful to him, at first. And then I shouted at him and accused him of lying and he shouldn't still like me after that!"

"Jon." Georgie says sternly. "Then what did you do?"

"I…" Jon stops, thinks. "I… tried to be more  _ lovely.  _ Like you suggested. And I trusted him and respected his distance even though I knew he was hurting himself."

"But you're with him now. So something must have worked."

"... I saved him." Jon says quietly. "Peter had taken him and he was  _ gone _ , Georgie and I… I used the Beholding to save him and I can't, I won't regret doing that."

Georgie sighs again. "For him, I wouldn't expect you too. Jon, listen to me. You love him, yeah?"

"I don't know." Jon says, miserably. "He doesn't feel like  _ you. _ That's my only frame of reference." 

"Of course it isn't going to feel the same. I don't love Melanie in the same way I love you, Jon."

"Then how did you know?" Jon asks, desperate.

"Let me put it this way." Georgie says. "Do you feel held by him? Does he feel like a home to you?"

Jon says nothing. The memories of the last 24 hours wash over him. Waking up with Martin at his side. Holding his hand and brushing his fingers as he took the tea and ribbing him gently on the walk to the village. Holding Martin as he cried. Martin,  _ seeing him,  _ and loving him anyway. A home. 

“Yes.” He breathes out, finally. “He does.”

“That’s that, then.” 

And the matter is settled, and they go back to quietly squabbling about Georgie’s latest episode. Years ago this would have been a full blown argument. Now it’s good-natured ribbing; at least on Jon’s side. He’s been making an effort. He’s always liked Georgie’s podcast, even if he wouldn’t admit it to himself, but now he’s actually trying, there’s a lot more that he loves apart from Georgie’s intelligent analysis. 

“I should be getting back.” Jon says, finally, “And I should let you get back to Melanie and the Admiral.”

“It’s fine. She rather enjoyed the show.” In the background, Jon hears a snort and a muffled “Hi Jon!” from Melanie. 

“Oh god. Exactly how much teasing should I expect from this?” Jon asks.

“It’s never going to stop.” Melaine’s voice echoes, distant on the loudspeaker. 

“Melanie, hush.” Georgie scolds, “Jon, go find your Horatio, alright? Call us if you need us. Or just want a chat.”

And while Jon is spluttering about the Horatio comment, Melanie chimes in. “As long as it’s about your love life, and not spooky shit.”

“Right.” Jon manages to get out, as he turns the corner to see the cottage, Martin framed in the window with a book and a mug of tea. The sight is so beautiful, so unbelievable for Jon to realise that it’s for hm, only for him, that he can barely get out a stuttered, “See you soon.”

He hangs up, Georgie and Melanie’s laughter echoing in his ears.

**Author's Note:**

> The lines from Shakespere come from my absoloute favirote play, Much Ado About Nothing. You can pry the hc that Jon and Georgie met playing Beatrice and Benedick from my cold dead hands. 
> 
> Please kudos/comment if you enjoyed!


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